


I'll Hate Myself Later

by Raevell



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, M/M, Male Slash, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raevell/pseuds/Raevell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean finds himself in an awkward situation one day when he catches two lovers who think they’re alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Hate Myself Later

~~This title probably applies to myself as well.~~

Warnings: NSFW, this is smut, you have been warned, gay sex ahoy! With just a bit of angst on top.

Pairings: Eren/Armin, one-sided Jean/Armin...sort of?

Came up with this idea and wrote it about a week ago. Wasn't sure when I was going to post it, but then I saw a prompt on the kink meme that was requesting exactly this scenario but with a different pairing and decided I better post it now before I get accused of stealing the idea but changing the pairing. Though I find it rather hilarious that I’m not the only one who thought of Jean doing something like this.  ~~I'm sorry, Jean.~~

***

In a couple more months, the 104th trainee squad would all be graduating and moving on to join the affiliation of their choosing. Jean was certain that his performance thus far would earn him a position in the top 10. He’d go into the Military Police force just like he had always wanted and live a good life.

Even though things were going great, he couldn’t begin to slack now. While he was incredibly confident, he knew he needed to stay focused and keep on pushing himself. Still, he did allow himself just to relax bit, every now and then.

Today was one of those days. He was next on the list, responsible that day for putting some training equipment back into the shed on base. Instead of doing it right away like he should have, he waited around for most of the day, taking care of other things or lazing about with his fellow trainees. Finally, he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer, as the daylight started to dim, turning the sky bright orange. He needed to get the stuff put away or Keith Shadis would notice and he’d be running laps well into the night.

Jean opened the door to the familiar shed and sneezed. The place was always so stuffy, full of boxes and crates and other things that Jean doubted were ever used. The place was in need of being aired out and reorganized. But Jean would never suggest it out loud because he knew he’d end up being the one assigned to do it for being the one to complain.

It didn’t take very long, not at the pace he went, getting the job done. He grabbed everything he could manage and within a few trips he had gotten everything inside. He threw most of it in the back. It wasn’t like anyone would notice anyway, the place was already such a mess. Dusting his hands off, Jean turned around to head back out the door. He didn’t get very far as a cable he had throw down carelessly wrapped around his ankle, causing him to trip over with complete lack of any grace. Seconds later, he found himself face down on the floor.

“Ugh! Shit!” Jean cursed, sitting up and turning around to untangle his feet. He kicked off one part of the cable and his face dropped as another part of it tightened around his other ankle. Grumbling, he realized quickly this wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought. It was like it had gained a mind of its own and was refusing to let him go. He reached down with both hands. “How the...hell...” finally, he managed to free himself, and decided it was probably best to fix it up again, so that someone else didn’t share the same fate.

On his knees in the back of the shed, he finished wrapping the cable once again and shoved it under a shelf nearby. Now that that was taken care of, it was time to head to the mess hall. Dinner would be starting soon.

Jean’s ears perked up as he heard the shed door open once again and then close. No one else would have had any reason to be in there at that point, not right before dinner.

That could only mean one thing; they were up to no good. Already down on the floor, he knew there was no way that the unknown intruder had spotted him as they came in. Jean carefully moved behind a few old crates that were nearby, a smirk coming to his face. This was great, if someone were sneaking into the shed and stealing supplies or something like that, catching them would be a great accomplishment to put onto his record.

Slowly, he started to peek around the stack of supplies. But before he even caught sight of whoever had entered the shed behind him, he realized that stealing supplies was not their intention. There was the sound of lips against lips, gentle moans, soft gasps. Jean’s eyes widened and he stretched his neck out even farther than originally intended, trying to get a better look, wanting to confirm his suspicions.

He thought his jaw might have hit the ground when he saw who it was. Eren Jaeger, he could see him clearly, and he recognized him even from just seeing his back alone. But he couldn’t quite see who he was with, only spotting their hands tangling up in his mess of brown hair, the crate blocking Jean from being able to see the rest of them. At first Jean wanted to laugh at the situation, at least until it crossed his mind who the other person possibly-perhaps even likely-was.

_Mikasa?! No...!_ Jean stood up to get a look over the crates, the thought causing a sharp ache in his chest. Before his eyes caught sight of their face, the second person suddenly pushed Eren back up against the door. Jean instinctively ducked down when he heard the loud thud of Eren’s body hitting it. Eren was now facing his direction but it didn’t seem like he had noticed him, fortunately.

Back on his knees and taking a slow, deep breath, Jean maneuvered his head around the stack of crates yet again. Now, with where they were standing, he could see them more clearly from his spot on the floor. He sighed when he noticed the other person had blonde hair. His upraised shoulders dropped back into a relaxed position.

_Blonde hair...wait, no way, Krista?!_ Jean bit on his bottom lip, the tension in his shoulders returning quickly. They were certainly short and petite like Krista.  _Damn it, what the hell is so special about Eren anyway?! It’s not like he’s that attractive or anything and he’s always angry about something!_

He couldn’t help but wonder what Eren must have said to her in order to convince her to come in there and make out. He had seen them chatting every now and then, but there had been no indication their relationship was anything like this. Jean continued to watch, telling himself he was only doing it due to simple curiosity and nothing more. Maybe Eren would do something embarrassing that he could share with everyone else. The thought brought a grin back to his face.

But the smile dropped and his eyes enlarged as he watched ‘Krista’ undo the belt around Eren’s waist as they continued to share kiss after kiss.

_You gotta be kidding me, they’re actually gonna go all the way?!_ The temperature in the room quickly started to rise. Jean felt a bead of sweat roll down the side of his face, its descent only stopping when it fell from his jaw. The lump of his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. He had to say something to stop this, didn’t he? But he couldn’t seem to bring himself to even open his mouth.

‘Krista’ kissed Eren again, and Jean noticed how dazed and content he looked as she pulled away. His eyes were focused purely on her. It was like she had tamed a wild horse, the usual rage that seemed permanently etched onto Eren’s features was gone.

Jean covered his mouth to muffle the gasp that left his throat as the blonde dropped to their knees in front of Eren. Without pause, the girl pulled down the front of his trousers. Eren shuddered in anticipation, his hand reaching down to stroke back blonde hair. Jean’s heart was pounding so fast he swore it was bruising his ribs. He considered that this all had to be a dream, it had to be, when he saw the blonde’s head move forward and Eren eagerly moaned.

_That lucky bastard! Getting sucked off by an angel like Krista!_ Jean thought, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene as his teeth gritted. He grabbed the edge of one of the crates with a shaking hand and leaned forward on his knees a bit more.

Ignoring the fact that it was with Eren, this was actually...

Jean shook his head, he was not going to start thinking that way. Still, he couldn’t help but wish he had a better angle of what was going on, for...curiosity’s sake, nothing more, of course.

Trying to ignore the brunette and the sounds he was making, his eyes focused on the blonde. Her back was arched, one of her hands settled on Eren’s thigh while the other must have been wrapped around his shaft. He could see her arm moving as she stroked him. It looked like she was really good at what she was doing.

His lips tightly sealed, Jean inhaled slowly. Krista had a really cute butt, it was easy to tell with the tight pants she wore. He felt his own pants start to become tight as well as he pictured himself in Eren’s position. Her pink lips wrapped around him, rubbing against his skin as she moved her head back and forth. Her tongue sweeping over the tip, her hand stroking him.

His own hand was trembling as he rubbed over the growing bulge against the front of his pants. This was wrong, this was really wrong, but the heat was getting to be too much to ignore. He was going to feel guilty no matter what, so what was a little more self hatred on top of that, anyway? He never made the claim that he was a good guy. He was simply an honest man.

Biting his bottom lip to keep himself quiet, his eyes remained on the duo at the front of the shed as his hand slid under his pants. He was surprised by the intensity of his own touch at that point, how he struggled to keep his voice down. It made him realize just how much watching them must have been affecting him. His focus honed in on the movement of Krista’s hand. Trying to judge the pace, Jean began to move his own hand as well, wanting to match it. He closed his eyes and listened to the subtle sound her lips made as they slid over Eren. Him instead, he wanted it to be him instead, seeing those blue eyes looking up at him as she took him into her mouth.

“Ah...! Armin, that feels so good...!”

Jean’s hand froze and the air left his lungs. The image in his mind changed immediately. On his knees down in front of him was no longer the cute petite girl, but Armin instead. Light blue eyes replaced by ones slightly darker in hue.

Jean’s eyes shot open. He turned back to the two, mouth open wide, jaw trembling. It was so obvious now, so clear. That hair was too short, too dark in color, hips were too narrow. That was Armin, Armin was—

“Mm, Eren,” hearing his voice only confirmed it. “I love the look on your face right now,” his hand still moving as he spoke, he didn’t give Eren the chance to respond before Jean saw his head move forward again. Eren’s nails dug against the door behind him and he moaned the other boy’s name again.

Of course it was him! It figured, he knew there was something gross about the way they were always all over one another. It wasn’t normal. Jean scoffed and started to turn his head away... But something was fighting against him, like there was an invisible lasso around his neck, pulling him back towards the scene. It was heavy, powerful, like a chain.

_I don’t want to watch this...two guys doing stuff like this...! It’s weird! Unnatural!_ His hand hadn’t left his own erection. This should have been a turn off, he should have been completely soft again the moment he realized what was happening, so why did he still feel so firm?

“Armin...mm... I’m really close...” Eren spoke between soft panting. “C-come here.”

Jean licked his lips as Armin stood up again and Eren pulled him into a kiss. His hands worked quickly to undo the buttons on Armin’s shirt and slide it off his shoulders. Armin was thin and lacked the muscle definition of many of the other guys there. He was still toned but there was something delicate about his figure. Eren’s hands traveled over pale skin, fingers trailing along the dip of Armin’s back. Armin sighed softly and tilted his head to one side as Eren’s lips began to press against his neck.

Armin whimpered when Eren nipped at his throat. The sound caused Jean to shudder. It was cute, the sound he made. He really wanted to hear it again. In his mind he was pleading with Eren, telling him to do it once more.

Eren grinned, Jean was certain Armin couldn’t see it, but he could from his angle. Eren’s hands moved from his back, to his sides, around to the front of Armin, out of Jean’s sight. Jean grumbled, he really wanted to see what he was doing, especially when it caused Armin to moan. He liked that sound even better.

“Eren...mm! Y-you’re teasing me,” Armin accused him.

“Consider it payback. You’ve been teasing me all day,” he did something that caused Armin to squirm. Jean hated that he couldn’t see what it was, Armin’s back still to him. “I know you were doing it on purpose, bending over like that so many times right in front of me.”

“I was not, the straps were just bothering me more so today than usual,” but there was something about his tone, Jean didn’t believe him, and he was sure Eren didn’t either.

How long had they been doing things like this? It was obviously not the first time, not with how confident they were when it came to one another. How many times had they done it in that very shed? Or even worse, in that bunk they shared together? He bet they did it all the time, touching and kissing one another beneath the covers, assuming no one would notice.

Armin pulled Eren’s shirt over his head, probably to stop whatever it was he was doing, since Eren was forced to pull back his hands and lift his arms up in order for Armin to remove it completely. As it was tossed to the side, Eren’s lips found Armin’s again. He fumbled with the blonde boy’s belt and Armin chuckled when the brunette struggled with it briefly.

This was weird. He didn’t want see this. He didn’t like guys, guys weren’t cute. Jean narrowed his eyes, trying to close them, but he found that he couldn’t quite bring his lids all the way together. As Eren pushed Armin’s pants down off of his slender hips, Jean tried to turn away, but again, there was resistance, that chain...

He exhaled slowly. Armin’s back was still to him, but now there was nothing covering him. Guys weren’t cute, he told himself again. He did  _not_  like guys. So why did he like looking at Armin so much? His skin was so smooth, it appeared to be really soft, he wondered what it would feel like beneath his fingertips. Jean couldn’t help but feel the familiar pang of envy as Eren reached around and squeezed the blonde boy’s bottom. The touch almost seemed to make Armin purr. That sound, he really liked that sound too. Jean bit his tongue to hold back his own moan as his hand began to tighten around his member once again. He hadn’t even realized he was doing it until the sensation hit his brain.

Armin’s hands slid down over Eren’s chest, stopping when he reached Eren’s pants to remove them the rest of the way. Their lips came together again and the passion picked up quickly, leaving both boys breathless.

“E-Eren, I can’t wait anymore... No more teasing, okay?” Armin begged. He turned around, and Jean could finally see his face. The bright pink along his cheeks, his hair slightly disheveled, Jean couldn’t help but think he looked really pretty like that. It was so different from how he typically appeared.

 Armin dropped to his knees again, but this time he was on all fours, looking over his shoulder at the boy behind him. “Eren, please...”

“Armin...like I can really resist when you beg like that...” Eren breathed, following Armin to the ground.

Jean realized how wet his mouth had become, he kept having to swallow. He tried to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his head, telling him over and over how wrong this was. He didn’t care, he didn’t care, he would hate himself even more later and he didn’t care.

Reaching for the pants that had been discarded earlier, Jean saw Eren pull out a small bottle of something from one of the pockets. It looked like the lotion they were given to help with the chafing caused by the straps from their 3D maneuver gear. This was certainly not its intended use. Eren poured some out onto his hand before tossing it aside.

Jean cursed under his breath about his current angle again, he couldn’t see what Eren was doing, he could only assume as Armin gasped and his hands clenched.

“You all right?”

“Y-yes, keep going!”

It really seemed like a contrast to his personality, the usually quiet Armin begging for something like this. He didn’t hide how much he wanted it, he did nothing to quiet those lewd sounds that kept escaping his mouth as Eren’s hand moved behind him. Was this a side to Armin that only Eren got to see?

_Lucky bastard,_  Jean thought as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

Eren moved behind Armin after asking if he was all right, if he were sure he was ready. Jean’s muscles were rigid and he was struggling not to breathe too loudly. He tightened his grip again, his back up against the crates, his head tilted just enough around them to watch.

“I’m ready...please, Eren, please...”

The brunette boy placed one of his hands on Armin’s hips, guiding him towards him. Jean inhaled sharply as he watched Armin’s back arch and the boy gasped. Eren shuddered and became still, Jean assumed because he was letting Armin adjust to him. Damn, they really had done this before. He wondered how they had even learned about such things when they typically seemed so naive... Armin probably found a book somewhere, Jean mused, and almost laughed.

But any desire he had to laugh was gone the moment Eren began to move. Eren held Armin by his hips and the blonde boy braced himself with his hands on the floor.  He was slow at first, hips drawing back then pushing in, his eyes focused on Armin. When Armin moaned, telling him it felt good, he started to speed up. Subconsciously Jean began to move his hand again, slow at first as well, but then beginning to go faster, along with Eren’s motions. It didn’t take long before the pace was almost too much for Jean to keep up with. For as tender as Eren had been at first, it seemed like he was being rather rough now, the force behind his thrusts pushing Armin forward on his hands each time.

Armin didn’t seem to mind though. Jean didn’t know the boy was capable of such language as he cried out, begging Eren for more, telling him not to be gentle with him, among other creative things. Jean wanted it to be him, he really wanted it to be him that Armin was saying those things to. His heart was beating so quickly, it seemed so loud, he almost wondered if it would give him away.

He bet he felt amazing. He must have felt really hot, wrapped around his length. He must have been really tight... Jean’s fingers closed a bit more firmly around himself - probably more like that. He sighed softly, his hand gliding up and down from the base to the tip with each stroke. He listened to every sound, every beautiful little note that Armin sang, every moan, every whimper, every cry, picturing him on the floor in front of him. He wanted to be the one drawing those sounds out of him.

Armin rocked back on his knees, meeting Eren halfway each time they came together. Jean saw his arms trembling, and eventually Armin simply lowered his chest down to the floor. It was such a provocative image, total submission, his knees propping him up as Eren took him. Harder, he wanted more, couldn’t Eren hear him screaming for it?

Jean was less concerned about being quiet now, Armin’s moans were more than enough to cover up his own sounds. He grunted, breathing heavy, so close... His hand rubbed and massaged himself, grip tight and quick, pumping up and down, his mind focused on Armin. He was right there on the edge and he knew the other boy was as well. He wanted to see Armin come first, he waited until the other boy finished, he had to make sure he was satisfied.

That was it, he saw it on his face... That beautiful expression, as Armin met his release. The boy cried out and shivered as ecstasy took him over. Jean covered his mouth, holding back the blonde boy’s name, leaving it nothing more than a mumble against his palm as he spilled onto his other hand.

“Armin...!” Eren was able to call his name freely. Another reason to be jealous of him, Jean thought, as he lay against the crates panting.

The chain was finally broken. He was finally able to turn away. He didn’t watch as Eren came, but he could hear it in his voice, how swept away he was by the feeling and the faint whimper that came from Armin. He wondered if he had actually come inside of the other boy.

There was a soft thud and heavy breathing from the two of them that became muffled. Jean assumed they were kissing again, he could hear the familiar sound of wet lips. Armin giggled. His voice was light and airy as he said Eren’s name again. It made Jean’s stomach lurch.

“You okay?” Eren asked him.

“I’m a lot better than okay...” more kissing. “I really needed this...needed you...”

“I really needed you too... I always need you, Armin...”

Jean rolled his eyes and tried to block it out. He didn’t want to hear their sentimental words of affection. They were guys, you weren’t supposed to be doing things like this with other guys, saying things like that to other guys.

 “Come on, let’s go wash up... Hopefully Mikasa saved us something to eat.”

Jean remained behind the crates. He heard the two of them get back up, heard the sound of rustling fabric. He felt like it took an eternity before he heard the sound of the shed door open and close once again.

Jean looked down at his hand. His stomach lurched again.

He wouldn’t be looking Eren or Armin in the face anytime soon. He wouldn’t be staring into a mirror either. The guilt was there and so was the self hatred, just as he had expected and it was a lot heavier than he thought it would be. It was almost crushing, he wasn’t sure he could stand up against it at first.

Still, Jean wasn’t entirely sure he actually regretted it.

A few days later, he found himself back in that shed before dinner time, waiting to see if the two other boys would show up again, hiding behind the same crates as last time.

Really, what was a little more self hatred anyway?


End file.
